Be Still and By Your Self

There are a host of imbalances which are currently surfacing due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Two of them I’ve noticed are what I call, “Acquired Busyness Disorder” and “Isolation Anxiety Syndrome.” The virus put the entire world on pause. “Social distancing” is a new term in our vocabulary; as we shelter at home, self-quarantine, are banned from gatherings of any size and all non-essential workers have been ordered to stay at home. Many are finding it extremely difficult—to say the least.

Millions of people have discovered they just don’t know what to do with themselves during their imposed time out. Those who can do their work from home, have something to focus on. They may have a few extra free hours, due to the current reduction of productivity or what would have been taken up by commuting. Others are falling into a gap of empty time and are working hard at constantly seeking something to fill that space and keep themselves busy- “ABS”. It’s wonderful if you can finally get to those things you ordinarily don’t have time and energy for; like the closets, drawers and shelves which have been crying out to be organized for years, shredding all of those documents--which have piled up on the dining room table or desk-- and safely tossing them out with the recyclables. Even the gunk you suspected was becoming epoxy behind the refrigerator, can cease being ignored, and get cleaned up.

These are worth-while tasks; but there is something even more important to do right now. This is an opportunity for rest and regeneration. Too many of us have been operating on functional burn out for years. It’s a great time to simply be still. Stillness of the mind is imperative. There's an intensity to the endless stream of thoughts bombarding all of our heads; including those about maintaining health and financial obligations (which will not be met, until knows when). The mind tends to chew on something, until it finds a solution or resolution. Instead of exhausting your mental energy worrying, do all you can to keep healthy; also seek considerations and leniency from those you owe. Work out a payment plan or arrange for an extension. There is no shame in it. You are not the only one living paycheck to paycheck or doesn’t have a large reserve of money. A lot of people are in the same boat right now. Recognize and accept which parts of the situation are out of your control and do something about those you can affect. Some things are just going to have to wait. It doesn’t serve you to become stressed out. Stress lowers the immune system (and that’s the biggest thing you cannot afford right now!)

Loneliness is stressful and a major contributor to depression. Loneliness is a psychological—rather than physical—condition (hence the term, “alone in a crowd”). We are social creatures and it is healthy and natural to miss interacting with colleagues, co-workers, friends, family and the cashier at your favorite market. A loved one may have recently passed on or has been ill and hospitalized. This is a time of compassion for yourself, as well as others. You definitely need emotional support, in how to cope with this absence and all that comes with what is happening and has happened to them. There are plenty of mental/emotional health professionals willing to work with you via phone or face to face online servers, until you are able to meet in person.

There are people who have never spent any real time in their lives, without family, a mate, children, a pet, etc. This could be simply cultural, has gone unnoticed or something they deliberately avoided. For many, being alone is dreaded and likened unto death, in ordinary circumstances; and is even more unbearable during this crisis. Being extremely uncomfortable being alone—for even a short period of time-- without distraction from your own thoughts and feelings, needing to use some mood/mind altering substance, not knowing what to do when you're not interacting with others, may be an indicator that some issue requires attention and balance within. This could be an opportunity to become aware and explore it.

What if “alone” were re-framed? The origin of the word alone is “all one”. Perhaps you can find some power in that definition, instead of connotations of isolation and deprivation. To be all one, reflects the vastness of our individual beings. Now could be a time of discovering new aspects of your Self and parts you’ve shelved (dust off that watercolor set or that clarinet you haven’t picked up in years). Real talk, unless you signed up for living the life of a monk, no one wants to spend a completely solitary life. Though this is not anyone’s idea of a “stay-cation” and may be uncomfortable circumstances, it can be a time to be still and discover how to be with yourself. It would behoove you to find a healthy way to be able to be by yourself—even when you prefer it otherwise, nevertheless.

Balance is key. As important, wonderful and necessary it is to maintain connection with family, friends and co-workers (via social media, texts and phone calling during this time) it’s vital for you to also be able to be by yourself by being by your Self. The resistance of not accepting and finding peace in a situation you cannot change, is what can become problematic. “By Your Self” means to be there for YOU. To be present to and for YOU, when no one else is available. It’s standing strong in who you really are. Keeping your Self company may not be what you are accustomed to. It may not be your preference. If it is your reality for the time being, it would benefit you to take some of this time to go deep within, seek and find your balance. These days, when we are requested to stay in our homes physically away from others, will eventually pass. You can spend them like you are in solitary confinement or as a time of personal sanctuary. It can only be the latter, if you are willing to create and allow your Self enjoyable time to Be Still and Be By Your Self.

A Few Self-full Suggestions:

Take Time to Be Still and By Yourself

Go Into Another Room Away From Others For A Few Moments Each Day

Deep Breathing and other Physical Exercises

Guided and Self Meditation

Self- Massage or Reflexology

Luxurious Baths or showers

Journaling and Creative Writing

Reading and Listening to Inspirational Materials

Becoming Aware of the “Food/Mood Connection.”

Fresh Fruits, Vegetables, Whole Grains and Quality Animal Products (if you consume them)

Avoiding Caffeine Jitters

Drink Water

Reducing Consumption of Sugar Laden Foods (which can cause feelings of fatigue and depression)

Take Your Supplements

Rest, Relax, Restore

Take Naps

Gaze Out of the Window

Get Plenty of Night- Time Sleep (If you work nights, darken the room the best you can.)

Get Out of Bed

Get Dressed

Get Fresh Air and Natural Light

Laugh

Cry

Smile and Give Someone else A Reason to

Find Something To Be Grateful About Everyday--Beginning with, Today You Woke Up Alive!

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